Supergirl and The Flash Crossover, and I Get Old

So I was digging through my Google Now updates while lying in bed, as I am want to do, and noticed it was full of articles that CBS’s Supergirl and CW’s The Flash have officially announced a crossover. I’ll get it out of the way and quickly state my opinion on the matter as being oficially “Yay! I love those shows and seeing them together will be super fun.” Now, on to the point of my post.

I was reading the news on comicbook.com (a great, if ad heavy site) for all things comic book and pop-geek (I am trademark in that term) related, and I made the inevitable choice of reading the comments section on the article. In just the first five comments I saw a range of opinions, as you would expect, and came to a realization about getting older. The comments quickly went into differing opinions of “They are just trying to boost Flash ratings.” and “They are just trying to boost Supergirl ratings.”

It then quickly devolved into which show was better, had higher ratings and  how the everyone who didn’t agree was wrong. Reading through all of this I quickly realized that I really don’t care who was right and that getting involved was a silly waste of time. That is when it occurred to me that I am getting older and (hopefully) wiser. I really didn’t care who was right. It meant nothing to me. I like both shows for different reasons and a crossover between the two could be fun, and I had no inclination to argue about it. For me, this is a huge turning point. I used to be that guy that would sit up until 2 am arguing with every Internet troll I disagreed with to the point of trolling all on my own.

Courtesy of XKCD http://xkcd.com/386/

But something has changed. I like to think maybe age has taught me that arguing with some stranger on the internet with intense determination really changes nothing. Their opinions don’t change if I like something and I am never going to change their minds. All I am going to do is get all riled up over what, end the end, accomplishes nothing at all. I won’t change their mind, they won’t change mine, and I will have wasted hours I could be enjoying myself.

All these comments boiled down to was “I like this show/that show/neither show” and they were all determined to prove why their personal preference was better. So why the argument? Yes, TV is a business, and the crossover is seen as both sides as a way to make a buck, but why should that matter to me or anyone else? Honestly, the only reason I care about ratings is that if they drop for a show I like, it could get canceled. But it is not a score to show that a series I like is imperically proven to be better than another. All that really matters is if I like it. If I do, yay! If I dont, then I don’t watch it.

After all, I loved plenty of shows that were canceled due to poor ratings *cough Firefly cough*. Ratings are proof of nothing except how many people are watching, not quality or how entertaining a person may find them. And why would I want to sit and argue something as subjective as that?

At the end of the day, I get why people argue. It’s what fans do. My wife made a comment after The Force Awakens about how Captain Phasma, someone we were cheering for before the release as a possible strong female character in the franchise, wound up being a pushover with no role other than to roll over at the first sign of trouble. I tried to make the point that it was basic storytelling made from the perspective of having just introduced the character, but the filmmakers knew it was a trillogy and they would have more time to flesh her out later. So it was OK that they had her make a strategic choice to survive the encounter and live to fight another day. She immediatly shot me down telling me she wasn’t looking for a fight, she just stated her opinion. And I get that. I was just looking for an old fashioned geek debate.

But the comments sections of websites have taken that to a new level of “If you don’t agree with me, you can burn in hell!” And honestly, I have grown past that. So maybe I am getting old. Maybe I just want to sit and judge on my own “This show/episode is good/bad.” but I like to think I have grown wiser with age and realized, other people don’t have to like the things I do in order for me to enjoy them.

I could be wrong, and there could be merrit in a knock down drag out internet troll-a-thon, but that doesn’t mean I still want to be a part of it. I no longer see the value in trying to change some random strangers mind by beating my head against a wall. Maybe 900 years taught Yoda a thing or two, and there is a deeper meaning to “Do, or do not. There is no try.” I can’t change their minds, so why waste my time when I could be doing something happy and productive?

Huh…

So I logged into my blog to write a dissertation on the new Star Wars movie and found I have a ton of drafts I started and have not posted. Maybe I should work on those. Truth is, I write posts all the time. I just don’t publish them. I think I’m afraid of the response. My fear that people won’t like them and I will feel stupid and embarrassed.

I constantly feel like Marty McFly when it comes to my comics and art. “I just don’t think I can take that kind of rejection.” That statement has taken on a whole new meaning in this age of social networks. Maybe it is the old pessimist/optimist argument. While on one hand we have never had an opportunity to reach a larger audience, we have also never had the chance as individuals to open ourselves up to so much criticism. Half empty, half full. And boy, does the internet love to criticize.

Anything we put out there could be ripped apart by the vicious predators of the internets. I will even admit to being one of them. This year, my wife told me I was looking good while growing my hair out. Truth is, I am just so socially innept and terrified of human contact I avoid getting a haircut at all costs. Strangers touching me for extended periods. Always wanting to make small talk. Forcing me to pretend I am capable of basic human interaction. “So what do you do? Oh! That’s so interesting!” Some even offer beer now. It’s like a strip club with none of the fun parts. And I don’t like strip clubs, so remove the fun and imagine how bad this is for me. The anxiety. The horror. Getting my hair cut is six different kinds of nightmares.

So her telling me she liked my hair longer was a dream come true. My wife, the hottest woman I know, finding me hot? Life is great! Until the inevitable “You look great! But maybe you should go get it cleaned up a little.” So like every haircut I get, I went in, got my hair butchered and smiled the whole time. At the end I tell her it looks great and deep inside my soul is screaming in terror because she just cut off months worth of hair growth. After telling her how long I have been growing it out and I ONLY want a little clean up around the neck and ears she proceeded to give me flashbacks of my time in the service. Six months of growing my hair out, gone in 20 minutes. And when she asks how it looks, I just smile (in abject horror) and say it looks great while holding back the tears.

Then I promptly head home and before I even kick off my shoes I am online ripping this girl to pieces in my online review. Everything I said in my review was honest. But there is no chance I could dress down this young lady to her face without hating myself. But online, where I don’t have to see her as a person, it was no problem. Sure, there was guilt. Yes she got two stars instead of one because I had SOME pity for her, but in the end I was willing to say things online I couldn’t in person. And I am not alone.

Maybe it is karma that scares me. Maybe it is just my own lack of confidence. Maybe it is just my abject fear of negative judgement that keeps me from posting my comics and blogging. And maybe I need to learn to not care what the negative people say, and post for the love of writing and drawing. So maybe I will make the 38th year of my life about going out there, and doing what I love. Drawing. Writing. And not caring what negativity people throw my way. And maybe trying to tell people the truth, rather than ripping them to shreds in online reviews.

Mah Blog!

It seems like I always over complicate this site with grandiose ideas of what I am going to make with it. And every time I end up abandoning it. I know in the end you are supposed to find a theme and stick with it at all costs, but that is if you want to have a successful blog. And let’s be honest here, this blog isn’t going anywhere.

So, I’m scrapping all of that silliness to just make my personal corner of the web, and people are welcome to look in if they like. Keepin’ it simple. So, doodles, reviews, thoughts, ideas, whatevers, that’s whats going here. Simple.